Sunday, March 13, 2016

growing pains?

love her

I love my time with Anna while Isaac is at school in the afternoons. We have planned activities some days, errands some days, we spend time with Suzie and her kids some days, and some days we just hang at home.  The time always goes fast. 

However, she is going through a really tough phase. 

Dropping her off at school, being at gymnastics and having babysitters has become so painful.

The first challenge- dropping her off at school. Whether it's Jeff or myself, it has become a major challenge. It has been so easy all year up until about a month ago. She told Jeff one morning she had to go to the bathroom so he took her when they got to school only she didn't have to go- first red flag. The next day I took her and the same thing happened. I knew she was just doing this to hang onto us for a few more minutes. We had some serious heart to hearts and she was feeling scared. So we made a brave chart at home and now when we take her to school we find a teacher for her to stand with until she is comfortable to find her friends. It's working. 

The next challenge- gymnastic. She has always loved going to gymnastics. Until the last couple of weeks. Now she goes into the room and warms up and seems to be having fun until something clicks in her mind and she is so scared because she thinks I leave. I don't leave. She comes running out crying and gripping me begging me not to go back in there. I keep encouraging her to go back and reassure her that I am not going to leave and to be brave. We are working on it. 

The final challenge- babysitters. She cries and cries when I go. She can't hold it together and begs for me to stay. It is so hard. I feel so bad for her but I also know it's good for me to get out once in a while. She even does it when I leave her home with Jeff. I just keep talk about being brave and she works through it. We are working on it. 

It breaks my heart to see her sad, scared, and anxious. I just want her to know it is going to be ok. I know parenting has its highs and lows and challenges and rewards. I know this is just a phase and it too, will pass. It's hard and emotional and frustrating. I just keep trying to put myself in her shoes and think about how I was scared when I was little girl. It sucked. But I also know I can't give up and stop gymnastics or getting babysitters... this is life. I have to show her we don't just give up when we are scared, even though sometimes that would just be the easy way out. 

I'm just chalking it up to growing pains at this moment.