Thursday, June 20, 2013

meltdowns

My reason for this blog is to basically give myself a journal with all the adventures we experience- Our play dates, travels, activities, etc. I know most of the posts are happy and exciting things, I do feel I need to share the hard stuff too. Let's face it, parenting is tough. Sometimes it is so hard I just want to crawl into my bed and come out when my kids go to bed. I am having one of those feelings right now. 

I just put Anna into her room while she was kicking and screaming at me. If I do something the wrong way. If I don't let her do it by herself. If she has to transition from something she is having fun doing- she freaks out. And by freaking out, I don't mean a few tears. She lays on the floor and kicks and screams and if we are holding her she will kick, pinch, hit, and scratch. I think Jeff and I have a fair share of wounds from her. 

It is extremely challenging and I find myself fighting back my own tears most of the time. She does this on a day to day basis. I try really hard to be so patient with her. I try really hard. I feel bad for Isaac because he has to give in more than he should. 

It is also very difficult when people have their input in the situation. Someone will say, "oh, she is in the terrible 2's" or "do it this way" or "do it that way." I deal with it every day and I can handle it. I just need people to be patient with me, too. 

On Monday we were at the zoo with Isaac's classmate and her sister and mom- first play date ever. I didn't bring any cash so the other mom loaned me a few dollars for my kids to go on the carousel. When our ride was over Anna wanted to ride again and I had to tell her no- and she freaked. It was a good 5-10 minutes where she just laid on the ground and screamed (see pic below). Some guy walked by her and just gave me a nod and said, "just let her scream it out". Exactly. A few moments later when she was screaming an older lady came right up and looked her right in the face and then looked around (like she was looking for her mom). I said, "I am her mom and I am very well aware of the situation, thank you". The lady just gave me a very awkward look and walked away. It's like people think it doesn't bother me that she is so upset. Trust me, it breaks my heart into a million pieces. 

Yes, it is just a phase. I know someday these meltdowns will be long gone. But right now I have to approach every single situation so carefully to try to avoid the dreaded situation. If you ever see me standing on the sidelines while my daughter is freaking out please, just keep the opinions and thoughts to yourself. I am doing the best I can. 

She is an amazing and super fun little girl. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade her for anything. She is just thickening me up a little. :)

sad girl. breaks my heart